The sissy dreams

Everyday I wake up in a state , halfway between a happy sissy and a closeted white boy. My mind is constantly trapped in that state. Suffering in silence, the people in my life seem to be oblivious to it, I have it well hid. 48 years of fist fights and weed, long hair and leather coats, Oilfield jobs, bar fights and lose women. It is easy to hide....kinda. I have started wearing panties sometimes and even left the house wearing my cockcage, went to the local park and stalked the trails, sucking off every cock that I could attract, Some men are turned off by it, others, well they like a good sub, everybody loves an enthusiastic blowjob. I have a wide,open jaw and very little gag reflex if I can get right under him and open my throat...I have swallowed some massive cocks, like I was born to be fed dick I think. When a man grabs my head and holds it I really submit, especially if he caresses my head and helps by positioning himself in the right spots to long stoke my throat. I breath through my nose till it fills with spit and precum then turn over to have it all run over my cheeks and face, sloppy wet deep throat fucking, my clitty gets hard as I think of them all, Tall, short, old, white and black, the thick fat headed cut cocks with that trembling swollen head. those dirty , sticking of piss and sweat, hairy and half limp, sucking him hard to find a mushroom headed ass popper that tasted of some other dirty ass that he rammed into my mouth...eagerly i sucked on that dick, all sticky from someone else's boi hole, his still sticky shorts up against my chin....He took forever to get fully erect, and he was long, very long but slim shafted....It was that head, Big, thick, bulbous, he popped my rim and I pushed hard against him, my cutoffs around my ankle...legs spread wide in the bushes he mounted me from behind, like an animal, and that's how he fucked me, no stopping, no mercy, he used me in the park like a whore, my clitty cage rattled like a bell on a kitten...drawing men from all over, It was a hot weekday , maybe 12;00, he was on lunch I think, the married men like to troll at lunch and cum look for dirty boi's like me all the time...